On the subject of private evaluations - Just Do It

Even if you are 100% in agreement with your school district's evaluation of your child, ask for an IEE. (State reasons for disagreeing, though). Why? Think of the evaluation as a consent to a major surgery that has the potential to affect your child for their entire lives. Even if it all sounds good, it's so big that it's scary - don't you want a second opinion?

The school district must pay for an IEE (or show cause for denying you one, which you may need later if you ever end up in Due Process Hearing.) If they say "no", insist that the denial and the reason for the denial be noted in the minutes of the IEP meeting.  They can provide you with a list of local professionals who they have deemed qualified to do them, or they can provide you with a list of the qualifications a professional must have for their IEE to be acceptable if you choose your own professional. You can request one per year if I recall correctly. I will confirm this and edit to add the link confirming or denying it. The IEE may agree with, disagree with, or ADD TO the school's evaluation. Maybe they agree that your child codes for Autism, but they also catch that they code for ADHD, ED, a learning disability, or other co-morbidities that will open more doors for you in accomodations later down the line with the schools.

Now, go completely outside the district. An IEE is still an EDUCATIONAL evaluation. It may not provide you with a medical diagnosis (depending on the professional involved).

If you have insurance, make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist. Try to find a CP who specializes in or is familiar with Asperger's/Autism in girls if at all possible (if applicable, ie your child IS a girl...). This will get you a medical diagnosis. If you don't have insurance, scrimp and save as you can and try to find someone that works on a sliding scale basis and may only need to retest certain areas of the evaluation (ie you know your child doesn't have any cognitive problems/learning disabilities, but you want them specifically screened only for Autism/Asperger's/PDD.) A medical diagnosis will lead to insurance coverage of some therapies and assistive technology, or you can apply for Social Security Disability based on it (long story there and it does take time, sometimes years) that may eventually provide your child with insurance that may cover therapies or assistive technology.

If the IEE determines that your child is not autistic, but you obtain a medical diagnosis of Autism, you have firm standing to insist that your child be accomodated "based on need, not by label".

And that is where we are in our journey right now; we have an ED label with the school district, but multiple medical diagnoses from independent medical evaluations we did over the entire summer. We actually did this *twice*, with 2 practices. I have some testing from her previous teachers to submit to the 2nd one before I will receive their report. (Because I figured hey, maybe I'm paranoid, but they can't disregard two completely independent reports as easily as one - ie the "you shopped for a doctor to say what you wanted" angle).

And if there is one thing I have learned about paranoia, it is to pay attention to it. If there is any potential minefield that I can disarm BEFORE stepping into an IEP meeting, I am better prepared.